Does She Really Have a Headache?

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Does She Really Have a Headache?

Not Tonight I Have a Headache.

Most of us have heard the phrase, “Not tonight dear I have a headache”. Even if we have not heard it directly from the one we love, we have seen it on television, heard it on radio or even on the Internet. The headache phrase is such a common phrase, that women and men alike make jokes about it. Then men around the world began to rejoice when studies proved that making love was helpful in relieving headaches. I’m sure it may have even caused great excitement for some men who then eager for their women to tell them “Not tonight I have a headache”. I can almost see a woman getting dragged into the bedroom kicking and screaming as her over joyous husband lovingly coos how he is willing to do whatever is needed to help her poor headache. Ok, maybe I have an active and humorous imagination.

How did we as people become so disconnected from each other, that we have to fake illness and fatigue to get out of something as wonderful as being intimate and making love with our one and only? Or is it that we are looking for that intimacy, and we are hoping to get some tender attention by saying we have a headache? It is important to have intimacy within your relationship. Sitting next to each other, holding hands, talking one on one, all are important aspects of a relationship. If we are not making time for each other, then you will naturally begin to slowly drift apart. You can’t expect your spouse. Man or woman to go from no intimacy to making love. At that point it is just sex, not that there is anything wrong or not enjoyable about sex, it isn’t the intimate lovemaking that binds two lovers deeply. And if you are not bound deeply, then it can become more of a chore than a pleasure.

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If you get that headache phrase from your spouse, you need to see that as an opportunity to correct the issue at hand. It is not time to pout, and feel sorry for yourself, or even think your partner is getting frigid. Instead, rub her feet and shoulders gently. Talk to each other like you did in the earlier phases of your relationship. Give her the fuel she needs to warm her up. If she is feeling distant from you, then this is an issue you need to correct. Don’t treat making love as your only goal each night. Hold her closely; wrap her arms around your own. Let her feel appreciated. Get the intimacy back into the relationship, and not only will she be attacking you in the bedroom, but when she says she has a headache, she probably will. And then you have another chance to be that tender attentive man she loves.

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